The Oracle of Warranties by J.P. Dancing Bear

The Oracle of Warranties
“Duh! Winning!” — Charlie Sheen

Everyone will tell you to take responsibility

for your actions

and your inactions

but I’ve seen what happens

the punishments and sentences

who does the right thing?

In baseball the saying goes: “if you’re not cheating

you’re not trying hard enough.”

Why don’t we live like utility players?

Why not cut-up and dishonor the contracts

of society?

Like here there are a lot of killers,

we have a lot of killer—

we are like a nation of killers.

You think we’re so innocent?

They came to me with illegal information

—who wouldn’t use this?

What am I a Boy Scout?

No. I hire boy scouts to make me look good.

I told you everything

you ever wanted to hear—

sold it to you buyer beware.

So don’t come back now

crying about the fake warranty.

I could see all of you coming!

I closed up shop,

I moved beyond the border wall

to state with no extradition

and the loveliest nesting dolls

—you might care to look me up—

we could make a deal!

I know people

who know people.




J. P. Dancing Bear (Featured Poet, October, 2017) is co-editor for the Verse Daily and Dream Horse Press. He is the author of fourteen collections of poetry, most recently, Cephalopodic (Glass Lyre Press, 2015), and Love is a Burning Building (FutureCycle Press, 2014). His work has appeared or will shortly in American Literary Review, Crazyhorse, the DIAGRAM and elsewhere.

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