The Oracle of Warranties
“Duh! Winning!” — Charlie Sheen
Everyone will tell you to take responsibility
for your actions
and your inactions
but I’ve seen what happens
the punishments and sentences
who does the right thing?
In baseball the saying goes: “if you’re not cheating
you’re not trying hard enough.”
Why don’t we live like utility players?
Why not cut-up and dishonor the contracts
Like here there are a lot of killers,
we have a lot of killer—
we are like a nation of killers.
You think we’re so innocent?
They came to me with illegal information
—who wouldn’t use this?
What am I a Boy Scout?
No. I hire boy scouts to make me look good.
I told you everything
you ever wanted to hear—
sold it to you buyer beware.
So don’t come back now
crying about the fake warranty.
I could see all of you coming!
I closed up shop,
I moved beyond the border wall
to state with no extradition
and the loveliest nesting dolls
—you might care to look me up—
we could make a deal!
I know people
who know people.
J. P. Dancing Bear (Featured Poet, October, 2017) is co-editor for the Verse Daily and Dream Horse Press. He is the author of fourteen collections of poetry, most recently, Cephalopodic (Glass Lyre Press, 2015), and Love is a Burning Building (FutureCycle Press, 2014). His work has appeared or will shortly in American Literary Review, Crazyhorse, the DIAGRAM and elsewhere.